What I Hope To Achieve Through Journaling

Welcome to my blog. Journaling is something I’ve been doing ever since I was a child. I started out writing in a small journal that someone gave me, though I can’t quite remember why — maybe a birthday or Christmas? Either way, I’ve kept a journal ever since. Nothing fancy, just writing, since I’ve never been very artistic. Years later, I started blogging. This would have been in the early 2000s, when blogging was more personal. I’m hoping to use this blog to recapture that feeling for myself.

As I mentioned above, I started out journaling in a small notebook I was given as a gift years ago. I remember filling that journal up and then going out to buy a new one. I think that’s where my lifelong love of journals, paper, pens, and handwriting started. Later, I moved on to blogging in the early 2000s. I taught myself how to create websites before WordPress was even a thing. I started on Geocities, then progressed to Greymatter, and eventually WordPress.

For almost as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled in some way with depression and anxiety. I’ve always had a hard time knowing who I am and where I belong, not so much within my family, but more within the world. I hope that through journaling I can learn more about myself and show myself some compassion and understanding. This is something I’ve found helpful in the past, and I’m really looking forward to it again.

In writing things down, I’m hoping to see what helps and what doesn’t, essentially teaching myself some coping mechanisms when things aren’t feeling so good. I have a habit of looking at things critically and through a negative lens. I need to change this and start looking on the bright side, finding the silver linings in things that are hard or challenging.

For me, it’s not about fixing everything right away. It’s more about staying grounded when things feel out of control. I’ve tried a few coping mechanisms in the past, such as deep breathing (which really works for me), positive affirmations, and creating small rituals. So, as I explore — and in some cases re-explore — these strategies and whatever else I discover, I think this will be a good way of tracking my progress.

I’ve never been much of a creative person (at least not visually). I don’t have much talent when it comes to design, and I like to keep things simple. Because of that, drawing and artistic-style journaling has never worked for me. Believe me, I tried! I really wanted it to work. But I found that I’m too much of a perfectionist and would end up tearing out pages.

For that same reason, I eventually gave up physical journals, and I think that’s why I turned to blogging. Digital just works better for me. It feels more forgiving — no pages to rip out, no messy handwriting to get frustrated with. I can always go back and revise without feeling like I’ve “ruined” something.

I’m hoping to learn as I go and see where this journey takes me. The truth is, I don’t have it all figured out and that’s kind of the point! I’m learning how to slow down, be kinder to myself, and make choices that reflect the kind of life I actually want. I don’t really have any idea what direction this blog will go. And that’s okay. It’s time I just got out there and started blogging again.